Robin Sam
by Insane Guy of DOOM
Summary: Presenting a twisted version of Robin Hood in which Robin Sam and The Band of Merry Eds must recuse Ed's sister Sarah and Robin Sam's lover Danny from the evil Lord Kevin. DXS with some 3/4 thrown in for good measure. PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Ye Ole' Prologue

This story was created for two reasons. One: All of my other stories that aren't about to end or on hiatus everyone seem to hate. Two: BlueMyst19 wrote a wonderful story called "The Misadventures of Robin Sam" which was my inspiration. Aside from "Robin Sam" character the story will be completely different. Presenting the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom, Ed, Edd n' Eddy, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, SpongeBob SquarePants or any other characters who may appear in the story.

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Sir Raven sat in his large Victorian style chair holding an upside down book. "Welcome children, to Story Time with Sir Raven! SIR RAVEN!" He yelled to the terrified children sitting around him. "Today's story is the horrible tale of Robin Sam. IT'S HORRIBLE!" The bird announced. One small boy, named Pudin raised his hand. "Mister Raven, I thought the story was called Robin Hood!" He exclaimed. "That's just what they want you to believe Pudin. WHAT THEY WANT!" Sir Raven replied. "Okay." The boy said. "Here we go; our story begins within the kingdom of Peach Creakenshire…"

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**Peach Creakenshire was a lovely kingdom, full of forests and rabid animals and peasants and stuff. In the very center was the castle/town place of Cul'De'Sacingham. The dirt-poor peasants lived the Park n' Flush Village. Here we meet our heroes: the Band of Merry Eds. For a living they scammed dirt-poor peasants, so as you can guess they didn't very much money. MUCH MONEY!!!!**

**The Band of Merry Eds consisted of three; Ed the Mono-browed, Double Dth **(Pronounced Double Dee-ith like a medieval name.)** the sock headed, and Eddy the short. **"Hey!" the indignant and so aplenty named Eddy the short remarked to Sir Raven. **I'm telling the story here, so shut up! SHUT UP!!!!!!!! Anyway the peasants lived in peace mostly. Except for one problem; Cul'De'Sacingham was ruled by the evil lord Kevin. He taxed everyone like crazy, explaining why there were so many dirt-poor peasants. His evil Knight and Debt-Collector Dennis wandered Peach Creakenshire arresting people who could not pay the tax, and sentencing them to death. DEATH!!!!!!**

**The only bright spot in the peasant's dirt poor lives was a mysterious heroine known only as Robin Sam. She robbed rich guys and gave the money and stuff to the poor; this was completely pointless as they would give the money back to Sir Dennis when he collected the debts. At least she tries. Now that the stupid introduction is over we can switch to good ole' third person Point of View. THIRD PERSON!!!!!! Let us begin with Robin Sam delivering her most recent raid's treasure to the residents of Park n' Flush Village…**

"Haggis! Get yer' ye ole' haggis right here! Only twenty-five sliver!" Eddy yelled to the peasants. "Eddy, their dirt-poor as are we. How can they afford the haggis; in fact its not even haggis! Its pantyhose stuffed with dirt."Double Dth complained. "But its super yummy." Ed added, eating the last "haggis" that they had made. "Well Robin Sam just gave them all some treasure which they can pay for with. In fact… Hey Robin Hood Parody! Send some of that money over here why don't ya'!" Eddy told her. "Thy would never give such to your kind. Thou are thieves and con artists not disserving this money." Sam replied. The three Ed's just looked at her blankly. "You talk funny." Ed finally said.

"Someone had too much ale last night." Eddy whispered to Double Dth and the two giggled. "I did not!" Robin Sam said and then hiccupped. "I was talking about Ed." Eddy replied. "I don't drinkith Eddy." The Mono-browed told him. "Well if thou are done acting like imbeciles then I must be off." Robin Sam said before leaping up a tree and disappearing. "I'm not acting." Ed yelled in vain.

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With my two other attempts for a new story: Calvin at Camp: The Freaking Huge Adventure and Bearbert, We Hardly Knew Ye being complete failures I hope this story will fill the whole in you Behind the Scenes loving heart. I really like this story at least, its always fun to write for Ed, Edd n' Eddy.


	2. In Which the Plot Unfolds

FYI: Dennis is from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.

I would like to thank Guy LaRue for reviewing though I would suggest you make an account so you may benifit from other bonuses such as my special first reviewer prize thing.

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**'Twas a good thing Robin Sam left when she did. WHEN SHE DID!!!!!!! For at this time Dennis the evil knight/debt collector had come to Park n' Flush Village to collect today's taxes…**

"Okay! You knoweth the drill! Line up and give your money to me in the name of Lord Kevin." Dennis yelled to the peasants. "Stupid Dennis, stupid debt, stupid, stupid STUPID!" Eddy griped to himself. "Don't you guys ever wish we were the rich noble guys that lived in Cul'De'Sacingham and not dirt-poor peasants scamming other dirt-poor peasants." He continued. "Eddy, we do not need the pampered life of a townsman. We're the Merry Band of Eds and I say you're the only one who isn't very merry Eddy." Double Dth told him. "Amen." Ed added. "Besides, what could possibly go wrong?" The Sock Headed asked. "THAT!" Ed yelled.

Dennis was hauling away Ed's litter sister, Sarah. "If you can't pay the debts, then don't do the crime. No wait, uh, forget it! Just come with me!" The Eds ran up to Dennis. "What are you doing to my baby sister Debt Collector of the Nether World?" Ed demeaned. "ED YOU IDIOT! You're supposed to be bringing home the baconeth, because you didn't I'm to be executed!" Eddy looked offended. "Well we'd have more money if we weren't scamming dirt-poor peasants!" Dennis then threw Sarah into a burlap sack which he slung over his shoulder. "Don't worry little girl. Execution'll only hurt a lot!" The debt collector cackled and rode off.

"We have to save my baby sister guys!" Ed pleaded. "But Ed, the three of us stand no chance against Lord Kevin and the castle of Cul'De'Sacingham!" Double Dth reminded him. "We'd need the help of a true hero. Somebody who would knoweth exactly what to do. Somebody like…" Eddy thought to himself. "The Village Idiot!" With that Ed, Edd n' Eddy ran to the center of Park n' Flush where they found Mandy. "Mandy, where is the Village Idiot?" Double Dth politely asked. "He's gotten his head stuck in ye ole' outhouse again." She replied. Looking over to said outhouse the Ed's saw Billy, aka the Village Idiot, with his head lodged in the outhouse's bowl. Billy was laughing stupidly as if he was on a dream vacation instead of stuck in a toilet, maybe he was.

"Hey Dumb-Dumb! Ed's sister was taken by Dennis. How do we get her back?" Eddy asked. "I dunno." Eddy scowled and walked over to his friends. "That was pointless." He told them. Sullen the not-so Merry Band of Eds wandered through the forest without purpose. They came across a bard, Harold who was the village idiot before his son Billy took the place. "You kids seem sad." He said. "My baby sister hath been taking to be executed! Mechanically de-boned, dumped into butter oil, and they fed to mean puppies she will be!" Double Dth attempted to console him. "Ed they won't do any of those things to Sarah." Eddy smirked. "Sock heads right; they'll just chop her head off!" Eddy added. Ed began crying. "Don't worry kids! I'll cheer you up with a song."

Harold: _**Oh, the mono-browed one's sister has been taken!**_

_**She will die painfully and be made into bacon!**_

_**I like to sign songs! That's why I'm a bard!**_

_**But if you ask anyone else they say I'm a retard!**_

_**Tra la la la la la!**_

_**Oh Ed's sister is gonna die. **_

_**I hope the wife made pie!**_

_**I don't like to make political statements!**_

_**The song is over now! **_

_**So why I am still signing?**_

_**I'm going to go now.**_

_**Bye Bye guys!**_

_**Tra la la la la la!**_

The Eds just stared. "What the hecketh just happened?" Eddy asked. "We saw a performance by the worst bard in history." Double Dth replied. **And so they continued to traverse the forest, exactly why no one knew. What the Band of Not-So-Merry Anymore Eds did not know was that they were walking to into a trap. A TRAP!!!!!! **Just as Sir Raven had said the Eds walked on to a suspicious piece of the forest floor and soon found themselves in a net. "Peasants Next Door, Battle Stations!"

A group of ten year old peasants dropped down from the trees, armed with 2x4 technology weapons. "Wait, it's just them. False alarm." Numbuh One, the leader of this organization said. Reluctantly Numbuh Four let them go. The Eds fell to the forest floor with a loud "Thump" and groaned in pain. "Do you guys know anyone who can help me save my sister? She was taken to be executed!" Ed asked. "Well, Numbuh Five knoweth one guy who might be able to help. There's this guy from Cul'De'Sacingham named Daniel… Numbuh Five can't remember the last name, anyway he hates Lord Kevin and would probably help you guys, since he could go inside the castle where you all couldn't." She explained. "He's tall pale and skinny with spiky black hair. He also has these blue eyes that are so dreamy." Numbuh Three added, causing Numbuh Four to look rather jealous. "Thank thee. Do you know where we may find him?" Double Dth asked. "I think he went that he went that way!" Numbuh Two told them. "Good luck!" They all said and the Eds departed. "You'll need it." **They said under their breath for the Peasants Next Door had left out one important detail… IMPORTANT DETAIL!!!!!!!**

"We're gonna save my sister! We're gonna save my sister!" Ed sang as they searched for this Daniel that the peasants next door had told them of. "Quiet Ed! Do you want to attract the attention of all the rabid animals in this forest?" Double Dth asked. "Nope. That's why I'm such a good boy!" Eddy looked annoyed. "Shut up Ed."

Finally the three reached a clearing where they saw a person matching the description of Daniel. For some reason he was laying on the ground. Upon closer inspection the Eds realized that he was actually making out with someone. "Hey! Are you that Daniel guy?" Eddy asked. To their shock the figure underneath him got up and yelled "Do you mind?" The figure was Robin Sam. "Awkward." Ed commented. "Yeah, I'm Daniel, but I hate being called that, call me Danny." He told them. It was then Danny noticed the Eds and Robin Sam were staring at each other. "Sweetheart, do you know them?" He asked. "Know her! She hates us!" Eddy replied. "And for good reason. These are the con artists I've told you of." Sam told Danny.

"But we need help. Scamming dirt-poor peasants made Dennis take my baby sister and now they're gonna chop her head off." Ed explained. "I won't allow for anyone to suffer that." Danny told them. "I will not allow you to help them! While I hate what hath happened it may finally teach them a lesson in their foul ways." Robin Sam argued. "You've got me there." Danny said. "How do you guys know one other any way?" Double Dth asked. "Isn't it obvious? Danny is my lover." Robin Sam told them. "Alas, we would be married already but my Sammy's righteous thefts mean if we were to even set foot inside Cul'De'Sacingham we would have our heads chopped off." Danny explained. The Ed's looked funny, "My Sammy?" Eddy said, then the three burst out in laughter. "Dose thou have a death wish?" Robin Sam said menacingly while pulling out a dagger. "Nothing on this earth could make me help you scum and I doubt Dannykins will help you either." She added. "Dannykins?" The Eds burst out laughing again. "We really need to start only using those pet names in private." Danny told his lover.

Meanwhile Dennis was on his way back to Cul'De'Sacingham when he heard what sounded like laughter. "Who dares enjoy themselves?" The debt collector urged his horse forward and they charged into the woods, following the laughs. Dennis burst into the clearing where Danny and Robin Sam had been making out earlier. "What! A resident of Cul'De'Sacingham is in love with public enemy number one!" Of course everyone knew Robin Sam was public enemy number one and that the resident was Danny. "You have no proof that I have any relationship with Robin Sam!" Danny yelled. "You're holding hands…" Dennis replied. "And you guys we're making out a few minutes ago." Ed added. "Not helping." Robin Sam told the idiot. "Darn, thanks to the brat I don't enough space in my sack for the two of ya'."

Dennis grabbed Danny and began to stuff him in the sack. Before he was all the way in he grabbed Robin Sam and told her. "Sam I just want you to know that, if by any chance I got you pregnant, tell our child that I love him or her." He was then stuffed inside completely. "I'll be back for you later." Dennis told Robin Sam. He then rode off into the forest. "Now two have been taken!" Ed yelled to know one in particular. "Why was he so worried about you being possibly being pregnant?" Double Dth asked. "Birth Control hasn't been invented yet so there's a pretty big chance he left behind more than just a hole my heart." Robin Sam replied. "There's a hole in your heart?! Robin Sam's a zombie!"

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Meanwhile back in Sir Raven's bizarre quarters Pud'n raised his hand again. "Mister Raven! How does Robin Sam know about birth control if it hasn't been invented yet?" He asked. "That is simple Pud'n… you don't need to know. DON'T NEED TO KNOW!!!!!"

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And so the plot unfolds. I will need a total of three reviews to post the next chapter, since the story already has one I only need two more. 


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